The Final Piece

So this is my final piece, a bit different to what I first imagined but it works. When I first started this project I think I was thinking a bit too simply, I mean online identity seems a bit too obvious now that I look back on the brief. Getting into the project took some time though, I was the first person to say 'I'm really not a photographer' so this was a bit out of my comfort zone which is why I turned to research. So much research. So much I confused myself!

Which lead to this idea, ones true identity is the mixture of common quirks and interests all combined together to make their completely unique identity. It's just a bit messy (very messy even). But I can honestly say nothing is more messy and tangled than those fairy lights after I did this shoot.

What even is Identity really?

So I had one of those panics again, where I just change my entire idea because I think it's bad or in this case actually dangerous.

Now you see I call myself a Feminist, for a long time I didn't because the word was tabbo and if someone called themselves one they got verbally attacked. It wasn't till very recently that I would call myself it and now everything I do is surrounding it in some way or someone will make a comment and I will want to comment back because of how sexist it actually is. This seemed to consume my time and mind for the past few months and everything seemed fine, a few arguments here and there but other than that it's been fine, yet I read an article a few days ago that really scared me.

The basis of the article was really simple, a feminist author called Anita Sarkeesian was asked to lead a lecture at Utah State University and when someone found out he* threatened not only her but everyone who was going to attend the lecture. This person stated that they would commit 'the deadliest school shooting in American history' before commenting 'I have at my disposal a semi-automatic rifle, multiple pistols and collection of pipe bombs'. Read the full article here.

All this because a woman was finally standing up for playable female characters in Games! (Also know as #GamerGate apparently).

*I can't find the article with the exact name but I remember them being male, this isn't me making assumptions. Just clearing that up.

This then inspired a new round of pictures, I'm still not sure what route to take on this project (Yes, I am aware I am leaving it late and it's not out of lack of trying!)

Now as this started panicking me slightly I sat down and wrote a list of what I deem my own Identity and came up with the following;

I am female
I am a Daughter
I am a Step-Daughter
I am a Granddaughter
I am a student
I am a singer
I am a filmmaker
I am a (closeted) optimist
I am a writer
I am a introvert
I am a theatre nerd
I am a Potter-Head
I am a walking health risk
I am a blonde (Naturally anyway)
I am green-eyed
I am a glasses wearer.

After I made this list I realised that everything is interwoven, such as I am a writer and a filmmaker because I was a student inspired by the fact I was a a Potter fan and I was a singer because I was an Introvert who needed a confidence boost who was also a Theatre nerd. It's just really confusing so I thought I would use the most confusing, woven and tangled thing I could think of - Christmas lights.

Like I said though, I'm still not sure of where this project is going but I'll be sure to keep you updated!

Read at own risk. It's political and ranty.

It’s strange how daunting it is to make a controversial project, especially on a subject that shouldn’t be controversial. But I know it is and it just feels – weird.

I know I’ve spoken to people about it recently and they were against my opinion, when it was something as simple as theft. People were endorsing theft because it was online and it was seen as okay? I simply don’t grasp the concept of it being okay. Especially when you are dealing with someone’s sexual identity.

Tangent! I believe everyone had multiple identities that ultimately come together to make them as a whole. I also believe that people have a right to keep certain identities hidden from people (in the understanding that their identities are not harmful or dangerous – but that’s a given right?). I believe that a personals sexual identity is one of the most important because if a person does not give you permission, explicit consent, to view them it is illegal to view them. (Or it is illegal for you to act on it, if they are under 18 it’s illegal anyway (which isn’t the same for over 18s, it should be under 18 or if they say no but it’s all-legal stuff made years ago that people are to stupid to change)).

Now I’m going to give you an example/situation; you know a guy, this guy has a highly customised Bentley, this car is entirely unique – just not for the guy in question. You see this guy stole it from another guy but it’s fine he has more. Now this other guy doesn’t want anyone to have this car, he locked it in his garage, it’s his. But the original guy got it anyway and wants you to have it. Do you take it?

No. You see this is still theft, if you take something you know is stolen you are also stealing it. But the law says- I don’t care, laws have not caught up with the times; there comes a point where morals have to take over. (Note: Morals = Human decency) If a person does not give you consent to view or use one of their possessions you do not have permission to do so; you don’t do it. How much simpler can it get?

If you haven’t made the connection yet, yes this is dealing with the leaked celebrity photos that have surfaced over the past few months. It is my personal belief that people can do whatever they want with their body (I mean it is theirs.) and they should have full control over who views it sexually and non-sexually*. Mainly women, not going to lie, because in the first quarter of 2013 in America states proposed 694 provisions policing women’s bodies. You know how may mean had? 0.

If you haven’t guessed already I’m a rather political person, I have opinions on a lot of things but this seems to be around me at the moment. I’m kind of getting myself into a muddle though. I’m a researcher, always have been. I will dig as deep as I can into a subject before I make a firm opinion on it (Mainly because people who don’t know what they are talking about yet preach opinions on things annoy me so much). I also believe that art in any form is always better with an emotional connection.

So throughout my research you find little doodles of ideas and the further you read though my notes you see the idea develop. Because my opinion is developing alongside it, a trait I’m proud of. No matter how much I rant (Now conveniently labelled as it happens often) I will remain open minded because I know all too well about an opinion being formed without being educated.

Now everything I do comes with a chunk of text apparently so congratulations for making it this far! Thank you for reading and I promise when I sort out all this research in my mind I will have some photos for you to see!

* If a woman wants to cover her body because she doesn’t want people to see her neck, arms, legs ect she has every right to do so. Same with if they want to show people, you have no say in it. She does. Not you.

A Can of Worms - Release the Opinions!

So I did a self-portrait shoot, it felt awkward, narcissistic, self-absorbed and completely Internet generation. My goal.





Now that not only lives up to the stereotype of the ‘internet generation’ it is also opens a whole box of worms of what is the Internet generation? Who is the Internet generation? How safe is it? Will we regret it like we did smoking? Is it bad for us or is it genuinely good?

It is my firm belief that the Internet generation is the way forward yet for me the ultimate question is, are people becoming desensitised to legitimate problems because online they don’t seem real?

Online you can be anyone you want, a better version of yourself, a worse version of yourself or a completely different person. Something that in reality is almost impossible (or at least a lot of effort and who wants that, really?). Personally my internet self is someone I’ve aspired too and I’ve made no secret of it, for example my internet persona doesn’t wear glasses; it’s become second nature for me to take them off as soon as I’m recording a video or taking a photo that will end up online. Why? I believe I look better without them but in reality it’s not plausible for me not to wear them but online it’s no problem.

If I believed this and acted on it in ‘real life’ it would be seen as me having low self-esteem and confidence, it would be a problem. Yet online, no one bats an eye.

Returning to the question of desensitising problems, people blame my generation for a lot of things and for the longest time I have defended them saying that they weren’t to blame and I stand by it. I do, however, believe that if they were not a passive audience we wouldn’t have as many problems as we do.  But you cannot blame an audience for doing what they are being conditioned to do, you can however blame an individual for choosing not to acknowledge a problem when it’s pointed out to them.

I believe my project is going to turn into a political one - I'm not even sorry.

Identity - Now a riveting poem?

So I was trying to come up with an idea for my Portrait project and after a lot of brainstorming I decided to stick with Online Identity. All was good, I got some books out of the library about portraits and online avatars and everything seemed fine - until I started questioning all the decisions I have ever made. Ever.

It's one of those things when you are laid in bed and you can't sleep and your whole life flashes before your eyes, now as the years have gone on I've took to writing those things down rather than have them fester in my mind for a few hours. So that's exactly what I did.

I was in a rather poetic mood and was writing about anything and everything when I decided to write this, so if you see me start to have deep thoughts, that's probably why.