Throughout that 'performance' I re-discovered why I don't do improv.

It wasn't even that improvised but I stumbled on words describing words I'd already wrote.

Either way people seemed to enjoy it, they actually liked that it was opinionated which wasn't what I was expecting in all honesty. Opinions are not normally something people like (particularly strong ones) but a lot of people also commented on my writing style and how they liked it. The best comment I got was that it was personal which is what I was aiming for, it's what I believe blogs should be about, an edited version of what I would write when I'm at home. With correct spelling.

I was feeling pretty confident about presenting my log anyway because I have long standing agreement with myself to make things as good as they can be before I put them on the internet forever so the actual content didn't faze me it was more the the actual speaking bit. No-one really had a problem with my presentation (or they didn't tell me about the problem) so that gave me a bit of a confidence boost.

They also said it was visually rich which, you know, was my ultimate goal.

The Final Piece

So this is my final piece, a bit different to what I first imagined but it works. When I first started this project I think I was thinking a bit too simply, I mean online identity seems a bit too obvious now that I look back on the brief. Getting into the project took some time though, I was the first person to say 'I'm really not a photographer' so this was a bit out of my comfort zone which is why I turned to research. So much research. So much I confused myself!

Which lead to this idea, ones true identity is the mixture of common quirks and interests all combined together to make their completely unique identity. It's just a bit messy (very messy even). But I can honestly say nothing is more messy and tangled than those fairy lights after I did this shoot.

Command: 'Send Email'

Hi Teenage Rachel

Hope you are well. I danced with Jim Spencer in his garden today, I thought I would pay him a visit because I needed at least 3 friends to get a promotion at work, we are great friends now though. Best friends in fact. I also needed at least 7 fitness points. You need that to work in a restaurant as a dishwasher here, I don't know why. I walked over to the spot near the pig in the living room as well, it was nice to admire the pig for a bit though, never give it a thought any other time. Unless I'm building my confidence by talking to myself in the mirror for a few hours before bed.

It's not like this there is it? You have full control of your actions, can even go to the bathroom without having to shout for someone to let you. Must be nice. Complete freedom. I guess I don't have it that bad, I'm an arty person here too! The best option is to play the guitar but my ultimate ambition has to be a 5-Star-Chef, nice to be able to cook something other than mac and cheese.

Have a good time and exercise your freedom whilst you have it, I don't have freedom but I do have an amazing green diamond.

- Adult Rachel

I feel old.

I got my first computer in 2002, it was an old Windows Me given too me by an elderly neighbour who's son had bought it for her but she didn't know how to use it.

2002 - 2003 - Age 6-7

The only Internet I had access to was my friends, it was the classic 'I hope Mam doesn't need to use the phone anytime soon' situation.

So at home I stuck to Paint and Solitaire

2004 - Age 8

miniclip.com

When I first got the internet it was still on my old Computer and in the 'computer room', yes it was that big and bulky it needed it's own room! We used NTLworld (I don't think that even exists anymore) and all I did was play games online that my cousin showed me.

funny-games.biz

2005- Age 9
This is the year I realised online multiplay games existed such as Habbo hotel (UK and US). I spent far too much time and money on this website, it was literally running around an imaginary hotel but what made it fun was talking to compete strangers.


2006 - Age 10

The stage that complely changed my life, I found Youtube!I found Youtube when I was looking for music and for the longest time I didn't realise things other than music and interviews existed on the entire website. Then I started finding Youtube singers such as Savvannah Outen, this lead me to a whole subgenre which still interests me today.

I also created my own Youtube channel (now deleted due to embarrassment) with the user name 'rachelwetting', why? Because my normal name was taken and it gave me that as the first suggestion and I just really needed to post that important comment!

2007 - Age 11

I created Facebook (slightly under the age limit) but I swear I only made it to play games! In particular Bowling Buddies, I played it on my Mam's account and in the end got my own account to play it on, the condition being I only add family. So for about a year I only had family on there and promptly beat them at every Facebook game that existed at the time. 

Although my Facebook says my first status was in 2008 I can assure you it was 2007 as I specifically remember this status being about my induction week at Secondary School (Which I went on to hate for 5 years, so I got the annoyance spot on)

Around this time I also started playing bigger online games such as Runescape, I followed around my cousin who was already really highly ranked picking up all the stuff he didn't want and having him make me high level weapons that I couldn't yet make to level up quicker.

I also found the Mean Kitty song and SMPFilms, this defined my life for the next year and was the best ringtone I ever had.

2008 - Age 12

Was a bit of a blur, I didn't really create anything new.

Well except a personal website but after many phone calls back in 2011 it has now been taken down. What a shame....

2009 - Age 13

Created in 2009 my Twitter has been through many name changes over the years but I've met some great friends from all over the world and can 'stalk' some celebrities at the same time.

I also discovered the amazing Team Starkid, the creators of a Very Potter Musical series. Yes they created a Harry Potter Musical and put it on Youtube. I was rather happy.

2010 - Age 14

I remember going back to Habbo Hotel in this very dark time, it was how I 'bonded' with he guys in my class. I was the only girl in my class so playing video games was a great way to make friends with them, plus it gave me a reason to play video games. I also found a website that wasn't blocked on my schools network meaning I could play Balloons Tower Defence whenever I wanted. I became a bit of a Pro at that game. I even found my old account and here are my achievements after I spent a good chunk of my school years logged in doing 'work' (I still got an A in that class, so it didn't hinder anything!).



2011 - Age 15

My Youtube journey continued with the discovery of the UK's No1 Vlogger, Charlie McDonnell (Charlieissocoollike).  I also started finding more people but none of them really caught my attention so I never subscribed, I wish had looking back on it because some of them (Such as Evan Edinger) have quickly became my favourites now so it would have been nice to give their channels a go back then, but I'm subscribed now and that's all that matters.

It was also around this time I created my first Tumblr account - probably not my finest move. I do remember my first URL being 'lifeofaninjanerd' I think the joke was I was nowhere near Ninja standard but went with it anyway.

Today I have 5 blogs, 1 main blog and 4 sub-blogs, as well as around 15 saved domains. It kind of took over my life. Never do it. You get sucked in. It's not pretty. Run

2012 - Age 16

I created a new 'serious' channel, a lot of videos are now private, I have around 40 videos uploaded with a total of 7,000 views, but only 11 of those are public. I was trying to find my niche when it came to video making as I had just found this whole community of Video Bloggers that for years I hadn't known existed. The fact that people blogged via video fascinated me and I really wanted to take part, the problem was I didn't really know what I waned to do.

I found people like Danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, VlogBrothers, Tyler Oakley and TomSka, and I wanted to be like them; a bit cliche I know but it's what teenage Rachel wanted to do with her life.

I also created a very short stop-motion about a spider for a competition on Vine, but never uploaded it because I never though a site so 'stupid' would ever take off.  Not my wisest decision.

2013 - Age 17

It was around this time that I started using Instagram, not very much but I use it more so now than I did before. However it's not one of those accounts I must update daily or must check or I go slightly insane. I did recently go on a following spree that I slightly regret, so many posts....

2014 - Age 18

Everything I've wrote about already has influenced where I am today, I would never have considered a career in Digital Video if I had never seen those first Youtube videos back in 2006. When I was at college I started making videos about exams and results day because when I panic I research (if you haven't guesses already) so I knew basically everything there was too know about every outcome. Now I have a part time job as a University Video Blogger - not bad right?



I just want to point out that I'm very close to the camera because I hadn't told my flat mates I was making a video so I didn't want them to hear me talking to myself and think I'm going mad. #FirstWorldInternetProblems

Also Shameless plug.

Internet friends and Hakuna Matata

Taken from my Instagram; #LionKing15

Yesterday I met someone who I've known for 5 years but never actually met.

I met Nia over Twitter back in 2009 after we both ended up in a conversation with the same person and they mixed up our usernames which lead to us getting really confused. After tweeting for a while we realised that we both loved the same things (thankfully these things changed over the years!), but we also learnt that we lived on opposite sides of the country, different countries in fact. Nia is from Wales so meeting up was completely out of the question so we stuck to tweeting, as in those really annoying twitter conversations (I'm not even sorry), plus Facebook and Skype.


All the way through school and college we would talk just about life, mainly complaining about being in school or college and it was nice, like having an internet best friend. Once we figured out we both were not murderers we started joking about meeting up and going to different nerdy conventions but we both knew it just wouldn't work out. But a few months ago that changed, we figured out both of us would be living either in London or within travelling distance. Then our conversations started getting more and more serious about meeting up, mainly to see a show on the West End as we are both massive theatre geeks. Money and timing wasn't working in our favour so we decided to leave it for a while longer but last Monday I got a message from her asking what I was doing at the weekend.

The latest tweet I can find is from a band member we used to idolise
back in April 2011!

It turns out she had managed to get Lion King 15th Anniversary tickets and not only were they good seats - they were free!


Now I've never really been interested in Lion King on stage after seeing a failed amateur production a

few years ago, but I was so excited to see the actual version I was practically bouncing all the way to Waterloo. Not only was the show amazing but it also gave me and Nia something to break the ice with, you see, seeing someone in person when you normally talking in 140 characters is really freaking weird.

It was great going to the theatre with someone who loved the theatre as much, if not more, than I do. We could talk about the set (She is a prop design student), the costumes, the story and the actors - it was just a really fun day overall.

I didn't get to stay long in London but the time I spent there was unbelievably awesome and I got the celebrate Lion Kings birthday with confetti and some Rhinos, life could be worse.

During the Curtain Call they had confetti explode over the audience, this isn't my photo as my phone wasn't quick enough turning back on after the show!

What even is Identity really?

So I had one of those panics again, where I just change my entire idea because I think it's bad or in this case actually dangerous.

Now you see I call myself a Feminist, for a long time I didn't because the word was tabbo and if someone called themselves one they got verbally attacked. It wasn't till very recently that I would call myself it and now everything I do is surrounding it in some way or someone will make a comment and I will want to comment back because of how sexist it actually is. This seemed to consume my time and mind for the past few months and everything seemed fine, a few arguments here and there but other than that it's been fine, yet I read an article a few days ago that really scared me.

The basis of the article was really simple, a feminist author called Anita Sarkeesian was asked to lead a lecture at Utah State University and when someone found out he* threatened not only her but everyone who was going to attend the lecture. This person stated that they would commit 'the deadliest school shooting in American history' before commenting 'I have at my disposal a semi-automatic rifle, multiple pistols and collection of pipe bombs'. Read the full article here.

All this because a woman was finally standing up for playable female characters in Games! (Also know as #GamerGate apparently).

*I can't find the article with the exact name but I remember them being male, this isn't me making assumptions. Just clearing that up.

This then inspired a new round of pictures, I'm still not sure what route to take on this project (Yes, I am aware I am leaving it late and it's not out of lack of trying!)

Now as this started panicking me slightly I sat down and wrote a list of what I deem my own Identity and came up with the following;

I am female
I am a Daughter
I am a Step-Daughter
I am a Granddaughter
I am a student
I am a singer
I am a filmmaker
I am a (closeted) optimist
I am a writer
I am a introvert
I am a theatre nerd
I am a Potter-Head
I am a walking health risk
I am a blonde (Naturally anyway)
I am green-eyed
I am a glasses wearer.

After I made this list I realised that everything is interwoven, such as I am a writer and a filmmaker because I was a student inspired by the fact I was a a Potter fan and I was a singer because I was an Introvert who needed a confidence boost who was also a Theatre nerd. It's just really confusing so I thought I would use the most confusing, woven and tangled thing I could think of - Christmas lights.

Like I said though, I'm still not sure of where this project is going but I'll be sure to keep you updated!

Read at own risk. It's political and ranty.

It’s strange how daunting it is to make a controversial project, especially on a subject that shouldn’t be controversial. But I know it is and it just feels – weird.

I know I’ve spoken to people about it recently and they were against my opinion, when it was something as simple as theft. People were endorsing theft because it was online and it was seen as okay? I simply don’t grasp the concept of it being okay. Especially when you are dealing with someone’s sexual identity.

Tangent! I believe everyone had multiple identities that ultimately come together to make them as a whole. I also believe that people have a right to keep certain identities hidden from people (in the understanding that their identities are not harmful or dangerous – but that’s a given right?). I believe that a personals sexual identity is one of the most important because if a person does not give you permission, explicit consent, to view them it is illegal to view them. (Or it is illegal for you to act on it, if they are under 18 it’s illegal anyway (which isn’t the same for over 18s, it should be under 18 or if they say no but it’s all-legal stuff made years ago that people are to stupid to change)).

Now I’m going to give you an example/situation; you know a guy, this guy has a highly customised Bentley, this car is entirely unique – just not for the guy in question. You see this guy stole it from another guy but it’s fine he has more. Now this other guy doesn’t want anyone to have this car, he locked it in his garage, it’s his. But the original guy got it anyway and wants you to have it. Do you take it?

No. You see this is still theft, if you take something you know is stolen you are also stealing it. But the law says- I don’t care, laws have not caught up with the times; there comes a point where morals have to take over. (Note: Morals = Human decency) If a person does not give you consent to view or use one of their possessions you do not have permission to do so; you don’t do it. How much simpler can it get?

If you haven’t made the connection yet, yes this is dealing with the leaked celebrity photos that have surfaced over the past few months. It is my personal belief that people can do whatever they want with their body (I mean it is theirs.) and they should have full control over who views it sexually and non-sexually*. Mainly women, not going to lie, because in the first quarter of 2013 in America states proposed 694 provisions policing women’s bodies. You know how may mean had? 0.

If you haven’t guessed already I’m a rather political person, I have opinions on a lot of things but this seems to be around me at the moment. I’m kind of getting myself into a muddle though. I’m a researcher, always have been. I will dig as deep as I can into a subject before I make a firm opinion on it (Mainly because people who don’t know what they are talking about yet preach opinions on things annoy me so much). I also believe that art in any form is always better with an emotional connection.

So throughout my research you find little doodles of ideas and the further you read though my notes you see the idea develop. Because my opinion is developing alongside it, a trait I’m proud of. No matter how much I rant (Now conveniently labelled as it happens often) I will remain open minded because I know all too well about an opinion being formed without being educated.

Now everything I do comes with a chunk of text apparently so congratulations for making it this far! Thank you for reading and I promise when I sort out all this research in my mind I will have some photos for you to see!

* If a woman wants to cover her body because she doesn’t want people to see her neck, arms, legs ect she has every right to do so. Same with if they want to show people, you have no say in it. She does. Not you.